To annoy a potions master
by SnuggleswithSnape
Summary: Hermione has changed since the war, deciding to have some fun she comes up with a list of ways to annoy Severus Snape, what will happen when she puts her plan into action? Read and find out, eventual HG/SS pairing and a little bit of Drarry too. review!
1. The list

_**Facebook: Hannah Snuggleswithsnape**_

_**Or the link is in my profile**_

_**So I have been wanting to write a story like this for ages and just so you know both are going to be out of character so if you can't deal with that then..**_

_**Now at the beginning of all my stories I warn all of my readers that my male characters tend to be domineering, now while that doesn't really apply to this story too much, I thought that I should warn you just in case as its natural to me and it is how I write.**_

_**Oh and this will eventually end up being an Hermione/Severus pairing.. so if you don't like that don't read..**_

_**Some chapters will be really short, some will be long, this is a fun little fiction that I am going to write and hopefully will help with the writers block that I keep getting.**_

_**Anyways I hope that you enjoy and any idea's would be great.. you will of course be credited in the chapter if I decide to use them =)**_

_**I do not own Harry potter but review anyway.**_

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><p>HPOV<p>

I suppose that it is true what people have been saying, I have changed over the summer, I think that a great deal of us have now that the war is over and the pressure has been lifted from our shoulders. But mine was a little more.. extreme than everyone else's. You see I learnt something as I watched my family and peers die around me; life is too short and we never know when it is going to end. I learnt that I needed to loosen up, to take a break from all the studying and pressures that have always been there in my life and just have some fun and that is exactly what I intend to do this year and I have the best idea on how to go about it.

"I have made a list" I announce proudly as I enter the Gryffindor common room to find two of my best friends alone playing chess, neither of them bother to look up or even acknowledge that I have spoken. "Did you guys not hear me? I said that I…"

"You made a list, we get it Mione, you're always making lists" Ron says without even looking up from the board, okay it was true I suppose, I do tend to make many lists for every situation that you can think of, but this one was different, this one was going to make me a legend at this school for doing something that no other student had dared to do.

"Fine, if you don't want in on my pranks…" I state dramatically, knowing that will easily perk the boys interest in what I have to say, it is sad really that after years of being there best friend they still do not give me the attention and respect that I deserve.

I begin to turn away "Hermione" that would be Harry calling after me "just who do you intend to prank this year?" he asks sounding somewhat nervous, I think that it is because he has seen my mean and sadistic side a good number of times, but I only bring that out when necessary, it is not like I go around purposely trying to humiliate people.. at least not yet.

"Professor Snape" I say off handedly as though it is no big deal when in reality it is a massive fucking deal. I turn around just in time to see both of their mouths dropping open in shock as they gape at me "close your mouth boys, you'll catch flies" I say as I try my best to stifle the giggle that is threatening to spill out of my lips, but their reactions are just so damn cute.

"For merlin's sake have you lost your mind?" Harry asks finally pulling himself out of the daze and bringing Ron with him too.

"That's bloody brilliant that is" Ron says and I have to smile at my best friend they were both so predictiable.

"Thank you Ronald and Harry I would appreciate your support with this. It is our last year and I really just want to have some fun and tormenting Snape will be fun, what's the worst that can happen anyway?" I mutter.

"He could eat you" Harry says so seriously that I actually bust up laughing at the thought.

"Why Harry Potter I seriously doubt that professor Snape will want to do that, besides sexual relationships between students and teachers are frowned upon" I say with a shrug deciding to tease him.

"What were the hell do you get…. Oh" I watch as Harry's eyes widen with recognition as he realises the implications of my words, then narrow as he glares at me.

"What? I still don't understand.." Ron says with a small frown on his face, I watch as Harry leans over and whispers something in his ear. "Oh merlin I do not need dirty images of that greasy bat in my mind.. eww eww eww" he whines as he jumps around as if that will banish the thoughts from his brain, but his face is starting to turn a ghastly white shade, though I have no idea why, it is not as though Professor Snape is the worst looking man on the planet, in fact in a way I find him kind of attractive, but I think that secretly all of the girls do even if they will not admit it.

"Honestly Ronald don't be so dramatic, now are you guys in or not?" I question, raising one eyebrow at both of them.

"Even though I think that it is a suicide mission.. I'm in" Harry says while grinning at me, seemingly he has forgiven me for my earlier comment

"I don't need you help with anything… yet, but if I say or do something out of character I need you both to promise that you will back me up and act as though nothing has changed" I say as I eye both of them, letting them know I was serious, because I plan to say some pretty shocking things, things I am not sure that I even have the guts to do.

"We promise" they both agree solemnly…

I cannot wait for our next potions class, let phase one commence.

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><p><strong>Short I know, but that was just a little introduction for you all, let me know what you think and if you guys enjoyed it I'll update tomorrow =)<strong>


	2. Snape needs a hug

_**Facebook: Hannah SnuggleswithSnape**_

_**Or the link is in my profile**_

_**I would just like to remind you all; I haven't wrote a story like this before so… I'm not sure how good it will be so I always appreciate constructive criticism.. This means you tell me what is wrong and how I can improve.**_

_**Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter and please continue to do so.**_

_**I do not own Harry Potter!**_

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><p><em><strong>HPOV<strong>_

Merlin I find that I am in a mix of emotions, I am both excited about today but I am dreading it also, Severus Snape is one scary man and I am about to test that out, maybe Harry is right, maybe I am suicidal.

"Come on Hermione there is no backing out now, this was your idea after all" Harry says as he tugs on sleeve, pulling me down towards the dungeons and to our potions classroom and to my unsuspecting victim…

"I'm not backing out, I'm just a little nervous that's all" I admit seeing as though it is just me and Harry today, Ron is in the hospital wing after falling from his bed, screaming about the spiders making him tap dance, I swear there is something not right with that boy.

"You bleeding well should be, all kidding aside if you want to back out now Hermione I am not going to stop you" Harry says softly as he stops us in place, looking in my eyes and I can see the concern there, it is nice to know that I have such a great best friend looking after me.

"Thanks Harry, but I'm a big girl I'm pretty sure that I can take care of myself" but even as I try to reassure him as I lean up pecking his cheek softly, before we both walk into the potions classroom.

I can feel my palms sweating as I see professor Snape stood at the front of the class and everyone already seat, it would be just my luck that everyone would be here to watch my impending humiliation. Sucking in a deep breath and gathering up my Gryffindor courage, I walk away from Harry allowing him to find our usual seats as I walk closer to Professor Snape.

"Miss Grange…"

I don't allow him to finish the sentence as I suddenly open my arms wide, wrapping them around his waist tightly as I hug him, to my surprise I find myself not wanting to let go, he feels so warm and smells so good. I hear gasps and quite whispers from all around me as I finally pull back, grinning like a lunatic up at a surprised Snape. "Miss Granger just what an earth do you think you are doing?" he asks me, the blank expression back on his face as he folds his arms over his chest, staring at me expectantly.

"Well you see professor I was reading this book the other night and it said that; no one was really mean they were just never hugged as a child and I just thought.." I begin, everyone is silent, I swear you could hear a pin drop, no one ever talked to the professor this way.

"You thought that you had the right to march into my classroom and attack me?" he exclaims, is he for real, I did not attack him at all!

"No professor, I would never attack you, at least not viciously anyway I just want to make you happy" I say and I even manage to wink at him and once again the class goes silent, but I can hear the barely restrained chuckles. However, they're probably wondering what the hell is going through my mind.. but if I don't know then what chance do they have of knowing.

"Why you insolent little chit" he seethes "ten points from Gryffindor and I do not want to hear another peep from you for the remainder of the lesson. You may take your seat" he commands as he ushers me towards the back of the classroom.

I sigh and walk away from him, taking my seat next to Harry, who is currently just gawking at me in horror, probably because I just hugged Snape but who cares really?

"Now today we are going to be preparing the polyjuice potion, not that I expect your simple minds to be able to"

I raise my hand in the air, which obviously distracts him enough to halt the flow of his words. "So were you?" I ask him, widening my big brown eyes and giving him my best puppy dog eyes.

He sighs loudly, a long and pained sigh "Was I what miss Granger?" he counters.

"You know hugged as a child?" I say bravely, watching as his face turns from confusion to anger in a matter of milliseconds.

"I do not see how that is any of your business.." he snaps

"I'm just concerned for you professor" I say with a grin.

"Do enlighten us all as to why you are concerned" he says a smirk on his face once again, he thinks he has me, but I'm Hermione Granger and I have an answer for everything.

"People who are hugged regularly live longer sir" I say with a beaming grin "which is why for you benefit every Monday morning I am going to hug you" I tell him with confidence.

"You most certainly are not."

"But I have to sir, I have to now I wrote it in my diary and you cannot argue with the power of the diary" I open up my planner to a random week and hold it up to him, showing him that 'hug a snape' is clearly pencilled in the space for Friday.

"Detention." He snaps at me, like I assumed he would.

"Yes sir" I say as he just shakes his head in disgust at me.

"And if you so much as entertain the thought of hugging me again, you will be out of my classroom so quick.."

"And into the bedroom"

He opens his mouth spluttering loudly, but no words come out, honestly I didn't mean to say that it just hit me, call it a stroke of genius.

I glance around the classroom, some of my peers are staring wildly between me and professor Snape, some are struggling the hold in there chuckles, but as I glance towards my right I cannot help but notice that Harry looks mortified by my words.

"Out Miss Granger" he snaps, finally regaining the power to talk.

I just grab my bag and skip from the class, as soon the dungeon doors slam behind me I break into laughter; I reckon these lessons could turn out to be a lot of fun.

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><p><strong>I know I know it's not that funny but I'm working on it<strong>

**Review please, all sugestions are welcomed**


	3. Detention and silencing charms

_**Facebook: Hannah snuggleswithSnape**_

_**Or the link is on my profile.**_

_**So I'm not sure if these are funny or not, I can do unintentionally funny, but when I am actually trying to be it doesn't always work.**_

_**Anyway review with your thoughts and any ideas always welcome.**_

_**I do not own Harry potter.**_

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><p>HPOV<p>

I walk into the great hall at tea time seeing as though I had not eaten all day, instead choosing to do independent study in the library… I may have decided to be have a little fun this year but it does not mean I will be neglecting my studies; I have a reputation to uphold after all.

"Hermione get your arse over here" Ron yells with his mouth full of some food like substance, honestly that boy is disgusting, why can he not chew, swallow and then speak, it really is not that difficult, perhaps I shall buy him a book on the subject for Christmas, then again the last time I bought him a book for Christmas he threw it in the bin… ungrateful sod.

I approach the table "honestly Ronald must you be so vulgar all the time, besides were on earth did you expect me to sit… at the Slytherin table" I joke, but I think my idiot of a friend believes that I am being serious, at least that is the vibe I am getting from him… gosh I may just have to make some new friends, you know? Ones that aren't retarded.

"Haha" he mutters sarcastically as he finally gets that I am being sarcastic... about bloody time as well.

"You know I think you better start watching that mouth of yours.. it's going to get you into trouble" Ginny chimes in with that annoying chirpy voice of hers.

I hear Harry snort and as I turn to look at him I am sure I see him mutter something under his breath, something along the lines of; 'it already has.' I hope to god that he is talking about my potions class this morning and nothing dirty, I doubt it though, they all think that I am a complete and utter prude; I'm a virgin, but by no means a prude.

"Where were you in divination anyway, you know just because Snape kicks you out of potions it does not mean you are excused from the entire day" Harry says as he looks at me suspiciously, obviously trying to figure out what I have been up too.

Thankfully I am saved from answering that question and giving him the answer he expected "Blood hell mione, what did YOU do to get kicked out?" Ron asks as I reach across the table to grab some bread to go with my lasagne.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" I answer with a giggle as I spoon a forkful of food into my eager mouth, chewing and swallowing.

"She told Snape that he just needed more hugs" Harry interrupts "and she actually hugged him" he adds and I cannot help but notice how pale Ronald goes at his words, idiot.

"You hugged the greasy bat Hermione, what on earth possessed you to do that?" he exclaims rather rudely I might add.

"Who I hug is none of your business Ronald Weasley, but while we are on the subject; it was rather nice and he smelt pleasant…" that was an understatement, he smelt fucking fantastic, but why am I sticking up for professor Snape especially since he gave me detention when I was trying to be so thoughtful, perhaps I may still have an incy wincy little crush on him, with that thought I stand, turning away and storming from the great hall.

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><p>I had spent the rest of my evening 'studying,' well at least that will be my story if anyone asks, really I have been plotting ways in which I can get to Snape, I am almost certain that if I push him and push him he will eventually crack!<p>

Arriving outside of his classroom, I raise my hand to knock on the door, but then I quickly decide against it; that would be far too respectful for my plans.

"Honey I'm home" I announce my arrival as I throw the door open and stroll inside.

"Miss Granger" a voice snaps "I certainly hope that you are not implying that Professor Snape's classroom are your home, glancing up I see Professor Lupin looking at me, with a half smile/half frown on his face.. I think that secretly he was a little amused.

Instead of answering I just flash him a sickly sweet grin "Where is old Severus?" I question, glancing around the classroom as if I am looking for him.

"Why he's.."

"I am right here, and ten points from Gryffindor for your cheek" he snaps as he storms out of the storeroom and marches over to Remus with a face like thunder, whoops I managed to piss him off and I didn't even know that I was doing it.

"Which cheek?" I ask smartly as I raise one eyebrow at him.

For a moment he looks shocked and then the all too familiar glare spreads across his face, seriously he looks as though he is about to murder me. "Well I would not want you to feel as though I am being unfair so make it twenty points" he says sarcastically and damn it! As much as I hate to admit it; that was a pretty good comeback.

So I do the only thing I can think of, I begin to clap loudly, gaining the attention of both my professors "Bravo professor Snape, I bow down to the master of snark and sarcasm" I say cheerfully as if it was common to applause your professor for taking points from your house!

"Sit" he roars as he points to a desk right in the back of the room and begrudgingly I take it.

I watch for a short while as they talk among themselves "professor" I begin, but to my surprise a wand is suddenly pointed right in my face, well not exactly at my face but in my direction, by the look on his face he is debating whether or not to curse me, but then thankfully the wand is then lowered, obviously he has come to his senses and realises that even he would not get away with murdering a student, well not in front another professor at least. Haha sucker i win.

"…" I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out, I yelp out in surprise., why the hell will my mouth not work? And then I realise what he has done, the arsehole has used the silencing charm on me.

Oh this means war professor Snape….

Prank war….

Let phase two commence

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><p><strong>Review please? :)<strong>


	4. professor Snape is a snarky bastard

**Facebook: Hannah SnuggleswithSnape**

**Or there is a link on my profile. **

**Just to let you all know that my keyboard is broken and I am using the on screen one and it takes quite a while to write with it, so I apologize for all of the delays that are sure to come :/**

**Anyway thank you all for the reviews, sorry I have not been answering many (the reason is once again my keyboard) however no ones really suggested any ideas and I would still be keen to know and get some.**

**I do not own harry potter but I do own the story :D**

**Reviews are appreciated as always.**

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><p>HPOV<p>

Hmm I guess that everyone in this school is afraid of professor Snape because despite the fact that Remus and I had bonded over our books and I had thought that he was one of my friends, he did not even think to remove the silencing charm, instead he just took the potion and practically ran from the room. If I had been able to speak I would have been yelling 'traitor' after him, because that is exactly what he is.

I watch as professor Snape walks closer to me and flicks his wand over my face. "There have you learnt your lesson now miss Granger?" he asks as he raises one eyebrow at my, with a smug look on his face.

"Yes professor" I say with a cheeky grin, clasping my hands behind my back and swaying from foot to foot "I learnt that you are really sexy when you are angry" I say with a giggle before turning and darting for the room, not even sticking around to wait for his answer. I run down the corridor until I get around the corner, where I stop, gasping loudly for breath.

I cannot believe that I actually said that to him, I mean it is true he really is quite attractive when he's angry and well.. in general anyway, but still it wasn't the kind of thing that one should say to their professor without there being consequences, not that I care, it just gives me more of an opportunity to annoy him and stare at him.

Finally pulling myself together, i run up to the Gryffindor common room and throw the door open. "How was your detention?" Harry asks as soon as I enter.

"Oh it went good, he used the silencing spell on me and then I called him sexy, you know the usual" I say with a shrug as I throw myself back on the couch and unfortunately for Ronald I land on top of him. "You know you make a very comfortable cushion" I say with a grin as both of the boys stare at me in complete and utter shock, their mouths opening and closing. "Close your mouth you will catch fly's" I tease.

"He used a silencing charm on you"

"You called the greasy bloody git sexy... eww who knew that you could lie so well?" they both ask at exactly the same time.

"Yeah... I lied" I say slowly as I roll my eyes at his words, honestly he was focusing on the wrong thing.. Professor Snape used a silencing charm on me.

So I bounce on him as hard as I can "Ouch that bloody hurt" he yelps from underneath of me.

"Goodnight kids!" I say with a giggle as I walk upstairs and into the common room, undressing and climbing under the covers and falling into a deep and happy sleep.

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><p>I wake up late the next morning, wondering what the day will bring as I get changed into my usual school uniform which in turn spikes an idea in my head.. I will have to get some material and markers but I think that I may be able to pull it off and it will annoy professor Snape no end. seeing as though I have no time for breakfast, I stuff a big handful of honey dukes chocolates into my bag and run downstairs.<p>

I head out of the common room and straight down to the dungeons, seeing as though I have no time for breakfast and to my horror everyone has already gone into the classroom. Damn it, he is going to crucify me for this.

Oh well I might as well make the most of it, throwing the door open I stroll inside "Never fear I am here" I say loudly and it works because I gain the entire classes attention and they all turn to stare or in professor Snape's case glare at me.

"Ten points for being late miss Granger and a further ten points for your ridiculous outburst, I strongly suggest that you take your seat and be quite." He says snappily, well I cannot just stand there and take that can I?

"Ten points from professor Snape for being such a snarky bastard" I hear collective gasps from around the classroom and see the anger all over his face, shit perhaps I took it a step too far.

"Miss Granger" he yells "it seems as though you did not learn your lesson last night, so detention for the next month" he adds in a calmer manner.

"I knew that you enjoyed my company but really sir don't you think that is a bit excessive?" I question, because honestly I think that he is overreacting.

I watch as he strides towards me, standing just an inch in front of me, his face so close to mine for a moment I think about leaning in and finally kissing him, but I quickly rid that idea out of my mind. "I do not know, nor do I care how you got that silly little idea into your head, but let me assure you that I do not enjoy spending time with you.. I only tolerate it as I am your teacher. Now Sit" he barks as he points to my desk.

"All you had to do is ask." I say simply as I walk over, joining Harry and Ron at my desk.

"You've got some guts" Harry says with a small chuckle "I would not dare speak to Snape like that, I don't think that anyone would."

"Yeah he looked like he was going to murder you" Ron chimes in "he was a death eater after all" that last sentence immediately annoys me, how dare he bring that up?

"How dare.."

"Silence" Snape barks.

"Pfftt last time I defend your honour" I call out, but he just carries on with his speech and ignores me.

Sighing I turn away from Ronald and pull out a chocolate, undoing the wrapper and popping it into my mouth.

"Miss Granger I certainly hope that you brought enough for everyone" professor Snape says as he gazes at the empty chocolate wrapper, trust him to be so sarcastic, but the bad news for him is that I actually do.

Reaching into my bag, I pull out a handful of chocolates and begin to hand them out, smirking all the time at Snape.

"Out of my classroom now" he barks, for the second day in a row.

Giggling I stand up, grabbing my last chocolate and pressing it into the palm of his hand as I walk past.

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><p><strong>Oh so what did you all think?<strong>

**Second of all I know this chapter was rubbish but the next chapter will be eventful.**

**Anyone think they know what Hermione will do with her material and markers?**


	5. I love Slytherin

_**Facebook: Hannah Snuggleswithsnape **_

_**Or the link is on my profile...**_

_**Thank you guys for reviewing this story, it means so much to me.. but I don't have that many so drop me one if you haven't already.. pretty please?**_

_**I do not own Harry potter **_

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><p>HPOV<p>

Okay so the first two potions lessons that I have had this year I have been kicked out of, so I am beginning to think that maybe I should try something out of the classroom.. something in the form of a prank.

Luckily I will have the time to do it before lunch.. I just need to find some willing Slytherin and that will be hard because although the rivalries between our two houses have pretty much disappeared they are still Slytherin and they will not be too willing to help.

So I will do the only logical thing a girl in my position can do... I will sneak into the Slytherin common rooms and I will steal it.. the only question is; which Slytherin am I the least revolted by?

Pansy Parkinson? Definitely not that girl is an STD on legs..

Daphne Greengrass? Hell no! That girl is far too prim and proper for my liking, she would just complain about the stains I am sure to leave on them.

Hmmm I suppose there is one persons who I know will fit me, but he won't be happy about it, then again I suppose that will just make it all the more fun, especially when I see the reaction and horror on his face.

Congratulations Draco Malfoy you are my new uniform provider.

Giggling softly as I skip down the corridor and down to the Slytherin dormitories, I cannot help but wonder what it will be like to wear Draco Malfoy's clothes, I reckon that they will be made with only the finest materials, besides there will be something surprisingly kinky about the entire situation, Malfoy was definitely attractive, too bad he doesn't swing that way or I would be all over him!

Oh well... I reach the entrance to the Slytherin common room and then I come up with a small problem... I have no idea what the bloody password is!

Damn it.. now what would the password be?

"Pureblood" I speak out, recalling an incident from fourth year when Malfoy let slip the Slytherin password.

"Granger.." a voice drawls out from behind me, I spin around to see Malfoy leaning against the wall, a smirk on his beautiful face. "Did you really think that would work? It may have escaped your notice, but we are not the prejudiced arseholes that we used to be." He states.

I blush as I realise that I have been caught trying to sneak in.. and steal some of his clothes none the less. But I quickly pull myself together and scoff loudly "you may not be as prejudiced but you are still an arsehole" I say while flashing him a matching smirk.

"Can I help you Granger?" he says with a loud sigh, as if he is insinuating that I am the one that is annoying.. he came and disrupted my evil plan not the other way around.

"Actually yes you can" I say with a wry grin.

"Remind again why you wanted my shirt and tie Granger?" he asks as we walk down the corridor towards the potions class, but I cannot and will not tell him, which makes me wonder why he gave me them in the first place!

"Never you mind, but I can still sit with you in potions, right?" I question knowing that I need to sit on the Syltherin half of the classroom for the plan to work properly… not that I really expect it to work.

"Why not" he says with yet another exasperated sigh… honestly he is beginning to get on my nerves with all of this, all I'm asking is for him to trust me.. not much right? As we enter I feel Harry and Ron's eyes on me, but I ignore them walking straight past them and to the front desk, plonking myself in the seat next to Draco.

A few minutes later and the door slams open revealing a very snarky potions master, I watch as he walks… no glides down the isle, before turning sharply and facing the classroom. His eyes scan around before locking onto me. He purses his lips "Miss Granger unless there has been some changes and you have changed house I suggest you move." He snaps out.

"But sir aren't you supposed to encourage the two houses to mix besides I love Slytherin." I state doing my best not to giggle at the look of shock on his face and the gasps that are suddenly echoing around the room.

Finally my potions professor seems to pull himself together "Miss Granger I find that hard to believe, in fact I think it is more likely that the dark lord himself would want to adopt potter" he sneers, while waiving his hand in the direction of a horror stricken Harry.

While I find his comment hilarious; I do not laugh. "Sir!" I exclaim, "how dare you? How dare you accuse me of not loving the house of Salazar Slytherin" I demand, as I huff loudly, crossing my arms over my chest as I do my best to feign anger.

"Whoa thanks for all your help Hermione" Harry yells from behind of me..

"Oh I'm sorry if for once it is not all about Harry frickin' potter" I hiss out as I stand up "finally I have seen the light.. and Draco Malfoy has shown me why the slytherin house is so great.

With that I grab the ties of my robe and pull it off, revealing my slithering uniform, with 'I love Slytherin' scrawled across the front and surrounded by glitter. "What do you th.."

"GET OUT OF MY CLASROOM NOW!" He roars obviously having enough of my antics… but damn it there is no need to be so bloody rude to me.

"Fine if you can't accept the love I hold then I will leave" I say with a long sigh as I stand up and grab my bags.

"Detention tonight, you too Mr malfoy for helping to create this monster."

"Ohh that's a first.. " I say with a grin "I'm looking forward to tonight" and with that I stand up and disappear from the room.

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><p><em><strong>Short but next up should be an interesting detention.. I'm thinking of getting Draco involved.. Review please**_


	6. What the hell is going on here?

**Facebook: Hannah Snuggleswithsnape**

**Or the link is on my profile..**

**Okay so another little instalment of this story.. I've decided that the chapters will be short and often.. there won't be any pranks in this story just a little bit of bonding.**

**Review please and I do not own Harry potter**

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><p><strong>HPOV<strong>

The day had been.. pretty boring, but I have a feeling that tonight is going to be so much more interesting, considering that I have detention tonight.. with Draco, who probably isn't very happy with me at the minute, I mean I was the one who got him detention, which is probably a little bit unfair but Merlin I am just shocked that professor Snape gave a Slytherin detention.

"Granger wait up" a voice shouts from behind me just as I begin to walk down the stairs to the dungeons.

Spinning around and I find myself coming face to face with Draco "I thought that I told you to call me Hermione?" I question with a simple roll of my eyes.

"And I would have kept calling you it, but then you got me landed with this bloody detention" he says, with a pout on those full lips.

"Aww don't pout" I say as I reach up pinching his cheek softly "it's not very becoming of you, besides you liked watching Snape's reaction didn't you?" I ask as he slaps my hand away, his earlier pout suddenly replaced with a smirk, probably thinking about our potions class earlier. "See you had fun."

He sighs as he walks with me "I have a feeling that you are going to get me into a lot of trouble Hermione" he says, but I know that he is been good natured and perhaps we can plot together.

"So you're going to help me?" I ask him with a wry grin as we come to a stop outside of the classroom, I raise my hand to knock, but before my hands even touch the wood, they swing open, causing me to jump backwards.

"Come in" a deep masculine voice booms out sending shivers down my spine.

I take the lead, strutting inside like I owned the place "Good evening professor I missed you.. did you miss me?" I ask with a wide grin on my face.

He glances up from the papers he is marking at his desk "I missed having someone to sort out my cupboards.. that will be your duty tonight… both of you" he states simply, gesturing to the massive cupboard that I know is full of potions ingredients.

"Oh fun" I exclaim enthusiastically as I jump up and down in the air sarcastically and begin to clap my hands together.

"Come on Draco lets go have some fun in the cupboard" I say as I stop, winking at a stunned professor.

"Well we have been looking for a new make out place" he says and I find that I actually am quite surprised that he is playing along with me.

I notice Snape's eyes narrow at me into a sort of glare.. oh who am I kidding? It was a murderous glare… actually as I look closer I realise that he is not actually directing it at me, but at Draco! "Keep the damn door open" he snaps, whoa that was defensive perhaps he was jealous? Could it be that he returns my feelings?

I don't reply.. I blame the shock, but I feel Draco grab my hand and lead me towards the cupboard, before pulling me inside. I groan as I see all of the jars of potions ingredients muddled and covered in dust.

"Whoa.. you seem to really piss him of" Draco says as he subtly closes the door halfway.

I giggle and nod, recovering from my earlier shock as I look up at him "the best thing about all of this is that I know a spell to sort this all out" I say with a small grin.

Draco smirks back at me "I know the spell too" he says…

"Am I supposed to be impressed by that?" I ask with a roll of my eyes.

"No but you will surely be impressed by this" he says as he whips out his wand and without even saying a single words, glass jar begins to fly over my head and re arrange themselves and as much as I hate to admit I am impressed by that.

"Eh" I say impassively with a small shrug of my shoulders as if I didn't care. "The question is what do you do now?" I ask.

"Maybe you should let me in on this little plan you have going on to rile up our favourite professor" he says with a smirk as he takes a seat on the floor, so I do the only think that I can, I take a seat opposite him.

"Fine" I whisper quietly "but you must promise that you will not tell anyone else and you must promise to help me in any way possible" I state firmly.

He nods once just sharply, holding his hand out to me, so I slip mine into his and shake it firmly, so we spend the next hour discussing my plans and I even let him in on the fact that I have a crush on our beloved professor, but for some reason I feel as though I can trust him.

He laughs as I tell him about when I first realised that I was attracted to him, and I have to admit it would be a funny story to anyone else, I almost killed myself. "I'm gay" he suddenly blurts out which of course does not faze me.

"Draco everyone knows that you are gay" I say with a roll of my eyes.

"Really? How?" he asks.

"Draco it's just so obvious" I say and he just shakes his head, it takes him a couple of minutes but I can see that it doesn't take him long to get used to the fact. "So do you have a crush?" I ask out of curiosity and I am pleasantly rewarded as a pink blush crawls up his cheeks. "OH MY MERLIN YOU DO WHO IS IT" I screech out as I practically bounce in my place.

"Keep it quiet in there" a loud voice booms and I roll my eyes.

"Whatever you say professor" I call back and I swear I can hear him growling, I mean it's not that surprising because I can understand how I piss him off, hell I piss myself of sometimes.. hmm that's not a nice thing to say about myself.

"Fine I'll tell you, but you mustn't tell him, remember I know your secret too" Draco says, pulling me from my thoughts and suddenly he has my full attention.

"It's Harry" he says simply…

It takes a few minutes to click but then I gape at him in shock "Harry? Harry Potter, the guy that you hate?" I ask him, shaking my head slightly as I try to get used to the idea of him liking my best friend.

"I don't hate him Hermione, I never have I only act that way because he rejected me first" he says with a cute little pout on his face, but I really have no idea what he is on about, I always thought that it was Draco who initiated it. He must see the confused look on my face because he is quick to clear it up "First year" he reminds me "I asked to be friends with him.. he said no."

"Probably because you were being an obnoxious twat" I mutter, causing him to laugh.. much to my surprise.

"Alright I'll give you that one, I thought that everyone and everything was mine for the taking" he says with a small shrug.

"Mhmm so that's why you didn't like it when I beat you at.. oh everything?" I say with a small shrug.

"Right that's it, I've had it with you" he says as he springs up jumping on top of me causing me to fly back and fall on the ground, as his hands tickle my sides, causing me to scream and squirm around.. I hate being tickled.

"What the hell is going on here?" A voice asks, I look up and standing in the doorway is..

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><p><strong>Oh… what do you think is going to happen next, drop me a review. =)<strong>


	7. Gay as the fourth of July

**Facebook: Hannah Snuggleswithsnape**

**Or the link is on my profile..**

**Well life has been hectic recently, so I apologize for the weird updates, I just want to let you all know that my other stories come first, so… the updates will be very irregular. **

**I do not own Harry Potter.. unfortunately. **

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><p>HPOV<p>

"Right that's it, I've had it with you" he says as he springs up jumping on top of me causing me to fly back and fall on the ground, as his hands tickle my sides, causing me to scream and squirm around.. I hate being tickled.

"What the hell is going on here?" A voice asks, I look up and standing in the doorway is.. Severus and Remus.

Draco immediately stills on top of me, but he makes no move to get off of me "Why good evening professors" I say with a bright smile "what are you too doing here in our new snogging spot?" I ask as I waggle my eyebrows, glancing upwards and seeing Draco flashing a little smile at me and I have a feeling that's his way of telling me that he is going to play along with me.

I turn my head to the other side, still smiling stupidly, I glance first at Remus' face to see that familiar knowing smile on his face.. phew at least I have one of them on my side, turning my gaze on my potions master.. I gulp loudly, he looks fuming, his face is all hard and he is scowling at me. "Miss Granger, I hardly think my stock cupboard is an appropriate place for your…." He starts and then pauses obviously thinking of the word to use.

"Snogging" I finish for him, being the nice person that I am.

And for some reason, despite the fact I am doing nothing but helping him, he somehow manages to glare even harder at me "yes.. that" he says, spitting out the words as though they left a foul taste in his mouth and maybe they did.

"But it's so comfortable professor" I reply with a cheesy grin as I look back at Draco "don't you think honey bunny?" I ask and I can see that Draco is struggling not to crack up at his nickname.

"Sure do muffin" he says and it is now my turn not to crack up, I feel his hand on my thigh, slowly pushing upwards causing me to gasp loudly.

"That is it BOTH OF YOU OUT OF MY CLASSROOM NOW" professor Snape yells loudly and as soon as he does Draco jumps up off of me.

"Technically it's a stock cupboard" I say helpfully.

"MISS GRANGER" he roars as I take Draco's hand and allow him to help me up off of the floor.

"What I just thought you might be confused, I mean…"

"Silence" he says scathingly which of course causes me to giggle softly, there was no chance of that happening any time soon.

"Just so you know professor I'm not interested in Hermione or any girl for that matter" Draco says as we stand there.

"What exactly are you saying?" Professor Snape asks Draco, but honestly could he really be that thick.

"That he's as gay as the fourth of July" I supply for them both.

"I thought I told you too be quite" Professor Snape asks as he begins to stride towards me, but before he can I slip under his arm and running out of the store room and out into the corridor.

A few minutes later and Draco is joining me "what the hell is the fourth of July?" he asks me, causing me to groan and face palm my face.. for a smart guy he can be a complete idiot.

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><p>So I am starting to tire of the word games between professor Snape and me, he didn't even kick me out of the last two classes that I had, in fact he completely ignored me! Even when I asked him what kind of underwear he wore, he didn't even bat an eyelid, but I'm pretty sure he wears boxers.. at least I hope so, nobody wants to think about a man in y fronts.<p>

"Whatcha thinking about?" Draco asks as he comes and sits down next to me.

"Professor Snape's underwear" I say, but why was I thinking about them… I mean he seems to be the main subject in my thoughts recently.

"Eww sorry that I asked" Draco says, causing me to giggle softly. "He is my godfather you know." He adds.

"Oh merlin, do you know?"

"Know what?" Draco asks as he turns to face me with a gormless expression on his face.

"What kind of underwear he wears" I state with a grin.

"No" he says as she reaches out, grabbing the end of my hair and pulling it on sharply, causing me to wince.

"That hurt" I say with a pout, huffing loudly as I close my book and move away from him.

He sighs and scoots closer to me. "I'm sorry Hermione."

"Sorry doesn't make me feel better."

"No.. but what about if I told you, I got that potion you asked for."

I immediately begin to brighten up. "You did? Give it to me!" I demand as I hold my hand out to him.

He grins at me and places the little vile into my hand "so what exactly are you going to use it for?" he asks, yet I just shake my head.

"You'll see" I say as I stand up putting my book into my bag and pressing a soft kiss to Draco's cheek and skipping down to the kitchen.

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><p><strong>All done… next chapter will be up in the next couple of weeks.<strong>


	8. Sevie poo

**Facebook: Hannah SnuggleswithSnape**

**Or the link is on my profile…**

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed my last chapters.. it's appreciated.**

**I do not own Harry Potter… but review anyways =)**

**HPOV**

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><p>"Dobby come on please?" I say with a pout on my face, as I try to talk the house elf into slipping the potion into professor Trelawney's morning tea.<p>

"No Dobby will get into trouble miss" he replies in his squeaky little voice and for a moment, my heart goes out to him and I wish that I hadn't asked him… but only for a moment.

"Please…. Come on no one will know it was you I promise" I say as I widen my eyes, giving him my best puppy dog and just as I figured I can see his resolve beginning to weaken.

"Yes miss" Dobby says as he takes the vial out of my hands.

"Ah thank you" I screech as I lean down pressing a kiss to his fore head and then turn skipping from the kitchen completely happy.

The morning seems to drag on as I wait for lunch in anticipation, today is certainly going to be a show and I am sure how much professor Snape will like it… not that I care, okay I do a care a hell of a lot more than I should do.

Finally it is time, I skip through the corridors with a giant beam on my face as I suddenly bump into something hard which causes me to fall back onto the floor with a loud 'thump' "Ouch" I exclaim while rubbing my forehead, glancing up all I see is miles and miles of black robes and then a stony face. "Your chest is hard professor."

"My apologises Miss Granger, would you like me to walk around with a pillow attached to the front of my chest just for your comfort" and soon as the words are out of his mouth all I can think about is laying on his chest after we have had wild raunchy sex.

Of course I do not say this out loud "That would be great professor, you're so thoughtful" I say instead which just makes him glower harder at me.

"Miss Granger I am not here for your amusement…. And while we are on the subject you better wipe that smug grin off of your face" he pauses looking thoughtful. "You're up to something" he says.

"So the penny finally drops. Make you a deal, you help me up like any gentleman would and I'll tell you" I say.

He sighs loudly as he reaches down, holding his hand out to me. I roll my eyes as I place my hand in his and allow him to pull me up to my feet. "So What is it? What are you planning he asks."

I grin and just shake my head "you'll find out soon enough" I say with a giggle as I run past him, heading towards the great hall.

"No running in the corridors Miss Granger" he yells after me and of course I just ignore him.

All throughout dinner I am sat there watching the staff table as they sit there and eat there dinner and drink there drinks, totally and utterly unaware of what is about to happen.

Finally, I see the events begin to unfold, I watch as Professor Trelawney reaches out and puts her hand over Severus', I cannot help but giggle.

"What's so funny?" Harry whispers from beside of me.

"Just watch" I say simply, never taking my eyes off of the table. I watch in shock as Sever.. wait when the hell did I start calling him Severus, how long have I been doing that? Oh well.. His eyes widen as Trelawney begins to trail her hand up his arm.

"Severus… Sevie poo why are you ignoring me" she exclaims, causing everyone's eyes to turn on them.

"Knock it off woman" he growls as she moves her hand up to his face and strangely I feel kind of Jealous… even though this was my idea, it pissed me off no end to find that she was touching my man.

"No Please Severus… I love you I have always loved you" she says as she stands up and straddles him over the chair… and that's when I almost stand up and grab the bitch of his lap and I would have done if not for the look of disgust on Severus' face.

"Come on woman you're making a mockery of yourself." I hear Severus' voice.

"No come on make love to me, please I need you.." okay so maybe mixing a love potion and a lust potion wasn't my best of idea's.

I glance over Draco who is looking at his godfather and then back at me in horror. "Help" I mouth. He nods immediately as he stands up, picking up his wand and begins to wave it. I watch in amusement as a large bucket begins to fly through the air and stops over the two of them, before dumping its contents over them.. I giggle as what looks like cold water falls over them, and suddenly Trelawney scrambles back off of him.

Severus stands up shaking with rage as he strolls down the aisle and now that my jealousy is gone, I cannot resist standing up and clapping loudly as everyone stares at me with their mouths dropped open and too my surprise Dumbledore jumps up and begins to clap too, soon it catches on and everyone is clapping. Severus pauses in front of me. "Make no mistake.. you will pay for this" he says while glaring at me and if I didn't know him, I would be scared…. Or perhaps I am just an idiot.

"Sevie wait for me…" Trelawney yells after Severus.

I see him grimace and grin "you better run" I laugh.

He takes my advice and runs out of the hall….

So I sit down and continue to eat as though nothing has happened while my two best friends just stare at me in shock.

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><p><strong>I told you these chapters would be short… coming up Severus revenge.<strong>


	9. House unity

_**Facebook: Hannah snuggleswithsnape**_

_**Or the link is on my profile..**_

_**So I'm writing this on my phone because I've broken my laptop.. So it probably won't be updated for a little while.**_

_**Bear with my guys!**_

_**I don't own Harry potter but drop me a review anyway :)**_

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><p><em><strong>Hpov<strong>_

Severus has vowed that he will get his revenge on me, but I seriously doubt that will happen... I mean what does he know about playing pranks after all?

"So you worried?" Draco asks me quietly as we make our way down the corridor and into the dungeons.

"Why would I be worried?" I ask non Chantilly. He rolls his eyes at me "you know why.. It's the first potions lesson since... Since the incident" Draco reminds me as if I didn't already know.

"Really? It's not is it?" I ask sarcasm dripping from my voice as I giggle softly as I see the look on Draco's face; he thinks I'm being a serious. I just stare at him, until it finally clicks.

"Oh.." He says as he realises that I am being sarcastic.

"Oi Hermione wait up" a voice yells from behind me, spinning around I see Harry and Ron rushing towards us.. While Ron glares at Malfoy, he obviously didn't like him still... Harry on the other hand..

"Malfoy" Ron greets coldly.

Harry stands there looking shyly at the floor "hey Draco" he mumbles and immediately Draco's glare softens at the sound of Harry's voice.

"Hey Harry" he replies softly before glaring back at Ron.

"Oh fine you can all ignore me then" I snap as I turn around and stride down the hallway, leaving them all protesting behind of me.

As soon as I reach the door to the potions, I see a little white note on the closed door... 'Potions class is cancelled... All seventh years will be informed of a makeup session in the near future. Sincerely Severus Snape'

Well knock me down with a feather. The cheek of the man, he cancels class and then demands that we give up our free time for him.

But that isn't enough to dampen my mood, not today anyway "Whoo class has been cancelled, the evil Severus is gone forever" I yell out loud as I skip down the hallways and past my friends, heading straight for Severus' room.

Once there I knock loudly on the door. "Who is it?" A voice yells out.

"It's me pookie, I came to see how you were. I was worried."

Silence. My words are met with complete and utter silence. So I lift my hand again, but before I have a chance to knock the doors suddenly swing open, revealing a very irked potions master.

"I assure you I am in perfect help.. So you may leave now" he says as he glares at me.

"But.." I reach my hand up, pressing it against his forehead.. Which he quickly slaps away. "Actually miss Granger. I have something for you" he says shocking the hell out of me.

"Aww how sweet" I mumble as he turns away and grabs something.

"Here, maybe this will help control that frizz that you call hair" he snaps, thrusting a bottle into my hands before slamming the door shut.

Huh well that was rude. Glancing down at the bottle and then at the closed door in horror, but perhaps I will use it after all.

I head back to the common room, and shower using my special shampoo before dressing in my nightgown and climbing into my bed.

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><p>Waking up the next morning, I get dressed, throwing on my usual uniform, ready for my lessons. Glancing in the mirror, I open my mouth and scream loudly as I see my reflection.<p>

"That bastard!" I hiss out, looking at my green and silver hair in disgust…. "how dare he do this to me." I carry on as I run one hand through the tangled mess… but he was right, my hair now has no hints of frizz, in fact it is now completely and utterly straight.

I soon get over my bad mood, because we all know that I can totally rock this look, actually it looks pretty cool.

Grinning softly as I suddenly get an amazing idea, because I will not let Severus pull one over on me.

Pulling out my wand, I transfigure my scarf to Hufflepuff colours and skin into Ravenclaw colours, glancing in the mirror once again, I cannot help but realise how stupid I look, but at least I look stupid by choice.

Skipping down into the deserted common room and then down the halls, I head to the great hall. As soon as I enter, I see everybody turn to look at me and then they begin to laugh, but I manage not to flinch or become embarrassed by this. "Bloody hell 'Mione" Ron says oh so charmingly.

I grin as I stride down, completely embarrassed "what are you all looking at?" I ask as innocently as possible.

I hear a throat clear. "I think that they are all looking at your interesting choice of… well appearance today Miss Granger" Severus says, causing me to turn towards him, giving him my sourest look, letting him know that I knew he was behind all of this. "Care to explain yourself?" he demands "I am pretty sure that that warrants a detention" he adds coldly, glaring right back at me.

"No professor.. I am simply promoting house unity" I say smugly "you want that right?" I add as I take my seat opposite Harry and Ron.

Severus opens his mouth, but Dumbledore beats him to it. "Of course we do miss Granger, I applaud you for your unique thinking" he says with a twinkle in his eyes, which causes Severus to shut up and me to grin.

"I win, yes" I yell as I punch the air, causing everyone to explode into laughter once again.. at my expense.


	10. Professor Snivellus

**Facebook: Hannah SnuggleswithSnape**

**Or the link is on my profile.**

**I'm glad that you liked me last chapter**

**I do not own harry potter**

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><p><strong>HPOV<strong>

Ever since that fateful day in the great hall, I can see that Severus is becoming increasingly annoyed with me and my attitude… and I have the sneaky suspicion that he is plotting his revenge and I worry that this time, it might actually work. He is a very clever man and a Slytherin which means that he is cunning… very cunning, oh god I am so screwed!

I groan loudly and slam the head on the desk hard "owww!" I exclaim out loud, because it actually hurt!

"Miss Granger is there something that you want to share with the rest of the class?" he asks me.

"Where to begin… I have been worrying for the past few nights that you are going to try and get me back for the pranks, because you're a sneaky little professor." I begin, seeing him glare at me, so I just wink before carrying on with my tirade. "I am so stressed because I have no idea what I want to do after I have had my owls and I have to keep a secret from my best friend all while coming up with new ideas" I say simply. "And to top it all off, I just hit my head on the table.. can you look at it for me?" I ask him innocently.

"Well thank you for sharing that interesting look in to your demented mind Miss Granger, but I doubt that I need to look at your head, I am sure that it is perfectly fine."

"Now as I was saying.."

"But professor I don't think that it is fine…" I say as I look up at him with a small pout "how would you feel if I dropped dead in the next hour and you could have prevented it." I ask

"You do not want me to answer that Miss Granger, now get on with your potion" he says.

"Fine but don't go crying to Dumbledore when I die professor Snivellius" I say, hearing gasps of shock all around the room, the loudest one coming from Harry who is sat next to me.

"What did you just say?" he grinds out his voice taking on a dangerous edge as his dark eyes lock on to me.

"I was just enquiring if you were Dumbledore's pet" I say with a smirk, before winking at him suggestively.

"Get out, get out of my classroom right this instant" he yells at me loudly and I need no further encouragement, from the look on his face it seems that I have pushed him too far.

"Help he's going to kill me" I scream, standing up and then I run out of the classroom and down the hall.. leaving laughter behind me.

I sit in the great hall, tucking in to my strawberry crumble, when suddenly something lands in my lap, looking up I see the owl flying away from me. Hmmm I wonder who sent me this letter.

Opening it carefully I pear inside first of all noticing the ministry stamp on the top of the parchment, opening it quickly I begin to read.

_Dear miss Granger,_

_We regret to inform you that after some due consideration, we have deemed you ineligible to take your NEWTS this year._

My eyes widen at the thought, what the hell?

_Unfortunately we made a mistake with you and it seems that you are not really a witch after all, you are an uncommonly talented garden gnome, talent aside I am afraid that it is forbidden for gnomes to attend Hogwarts, therefore you are expelled._

And that is when I stop reading, my heart racing fast as I think over everything that I have just learnt, but worst of all I am getting expelled. "Oh my god, oh my god" I say as my breathing picks up and I begin to hyperventilate.

"Hermione what's wrong" Harry asks as his hand comes to rest on my shoulder.

"I'm a gnome Harry a fucking gnome" I yell out a little bit too loudly and every person in the hall turns to look at me as I suddenly burst out in to tears.

"Why me.. why do I have to be the gnome?" I wail.

"Miss Granger I assure you that there are no gnome's in this school" Dumbledore says obviously trying to calm me down, but it just makes me sob even harder.

"I know that's why I'm being expelled." I sniffle quietly.

He glances at me in confusion, before taking his wand out "Accio letter" he says and my stupid letter flies down the table and towards him and I can tell that everyone is waiting with baited breath to see what is going on.

"I should have gone to a different school, any school, this wouldn't have happened there, and I wouldn't have had to put up with people I hate all these years.. I wouldn't have had to put up with Draco mooning over Harry, yeah that's right Harry Draco's in love with you and I know you love him too so just get together already. And I wouldn't have had to listen all of professor Trewlany's rubbish I could have just…"

"Miss Granger you are not an gnome." Dumbledore says causing me to freeze, my mouth dropping open in shock as I wipe away the tears and manage to halt my crying.

"What?"

"No it seems that whoever sent this, meant it as some kind of joke" he adds as he shakes it a little and immediately the ministry stamp disappears.

"Oh.." And then I realise what I have just said, glancing around I see all of the students in laughter, Draco's place is empty and Trewlany's in tears and Severus Snape is smirking at me.

I'm going to get the smug bastard for this.

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><p><em><strong>Reviews welcome<strong>_


	11. I love Hermione Granger

_**Facebook: Hannah SnuggleswithSnape**_

_**Or the link is on my profile**_

_**Thank you too everyone who reviewed but sadly I do not own Harry Potter**_

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><p><em><strong>HPOV<strong>_

No one's talking to me, I am all alone, Draco is mad at me, Harry is mad at me, Ron has taken Harry's side as usual and everybody else just thinks that I am weird.

And this Is all Severus Snape's fault, if he had not sent me that stupid owl, saying that I was a garden gnome then none of this would have happened! People wouldn't think that I was a complete physco, my best friends wouldn't be mad at me and professor Snape wouldn't be walking around with that smug grin on his face.

But I will find a way to redeem myself and he will be the one who is left looking like a complete and utter fool.

"Mwhahaha" I let out a long and evil chuckle causing the rest of the library to turn and shhh me… dunderheads, do they not realise that I have just come up with the perfect plan? Snapping my book shut I stand up and hurry from the library, my plan is perfect.

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><p>As I walk in to potions class I cannot help but notice how everyone gives me a wide birth, I do not even attempt to sit next to Harry or next to Draco, I instead head straight to an empty desk and sit myself down.<p>

The doors fly open and in strides the man himself, his robes billowing around him as he walks which causes me to let out a girly little giggle. "Do you have something you wish to share with the class?" he asks as he turns, fixing me with his icy glare.

I bite my lip hard as though I am struggling to contain my laughter. "You billow" I say simply, pointing at him.

I see a couple of people turn around, obviously wanting to see what will happen next. "I am well aware of that" he says stiffly as he turns to walk away from me, but I will not allow him to escape so easily.

I stand up, following him closely. "But do you use some sort of spell or enchantment or is it all natural sir?" I ask sweetly, though I am pretty sure that it is an enchantment.

And I swear I hear him mutter something like 'insolent little chit under his breath' as he continues to stride towards the front of the classroom, finally reaching his desk and placing his drink there.

"Well can you teach me, I want to do it too" I say as I clap my hands with fake enthusiasm.

"No Herm… Miss Granger now return to you seat at once" and though he tries to cover it I do not miss the fact that he almost called me Hermione…

I cannot return to my seat, I just have to get close enough to his desk, to his drink. "Oh Severus, you called me Hermione" I say, fake tears glistening in my eyes as I rush forwards, throwing my arms around his waist, and resting my head against his chest, in the brief seconds that he allows me to hug him; I pull the vial out and empty the contents into his cup.

And not a moment too soon as I feel his arms on my shoulders, pushing me away from him. "Return to your seat at once…" I sigh lightly and turn away "and I would advise you not to call me Severus again." He adds stiffly.

I just smirk as I take my seat, waiting for the potion to have its effect.

"Turn to page 394, the instructions are on the board, I trust that you dunderheads can manage that much" he informs the class as he sits at his desk and begins to mark some work.

I sit there, waiting about five minutes before I speak. "So professor Snape what's your favourite colour?" I ask deciding to test the waters, if it had not taken effect then he would answer black or green…

"Red" he says much to my surprise, I see his eyes widen as half of the Gryffindor's let out a cheer.

"Boxers or briefs?" I ask him, this question would embarrass him and also give me something to think about.

"Boxers" he replies.. mmm I bet they're silk ones. "You little witch, you slipped a potion in my drink."

"Maybe I did… hmm now time to get some answers." I stand up as I begin to stride towards his desk. "Did you send me the owl?" I demand as I reach his desk, slamming my hand down on it.

I see him pursing his lips, obviously trying to resist the urge to spill the truth to me. Finally he gives in "yes" he blurts out.

"And you made me spill the beans on Harry and Draco" I snap out at him.

"No you did that yourself you insolent wench" he hisses at me.. which sucks for him because now I am just going to ask him more embarrassing questions.

"So my darling professor who do you have a crush on?" I ask him, hoping that he says no one.

"You witch, I'm in love with you."

I hear sharp in takes from all around the classroom and suddenly I have a feeling that I have taken this too far.

"Severus…"

"It's professor Snape to you" he snaps as he stands up, storming from the classroom, leaving the room in shock.

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><p><em><strong>So this wasn't really funny, but.. It was necessary. <strong>_


	12. Authors note

Hi guys,

I first of all would like to apologize for my lack of updates.. I have been having a hectic time recently.

And now I would like to say that I am taking a few weeks (no more than four) off as I want to work on my personal writing… but then I will be getting back to my regular updating schedule..

I hope you all understand.

_Hannah.


	13. Severus Snape's sex life

_**Facebook: Hannah SnuggleswithSnape**_

_**Or the link is on my profile**_

_**Yes this will be a Hermione/Severus shipping story**_

_**No this isn't the end of my break.. but I had already written most of this chapter.. it's not a funny one.. it's just to set it up for the next chapters.**_

_**Anyway read and review.. because I don't own Harry Potter =(**_

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><p><em><strong>HPOV<strong>_

"It's professor Snape to you" he snaps as he stands up, storming from the classroom, leaving the room in shock.

"Jesus fucking Christ" someone blurts out and as I snap my head up I see that it is Ron who has said it… but I don't have time to ponder the fact that my professor has just announced his love to me in front of the entire class..

"Oh god he's going to kill me" I wail out loud as I bury my face in the palm of my hands.

I feel a pair of arms wrap around me as I am suddenly pulled in to a strong chest, peeking up I see Draco stood there offering me a small smile.. "Shh sweetie it's all going to be okay" he soothes as he stroke my hair.. seemingly having forgiven me for revealing his secret to the entire school.

"He loves me Draco" I wail pathetically as the tears begin to slip down my face slowly, turning my head to the side and burying my head against his chest.

"Everybody out" a strong voice commands, a voice that I know to be Harry's… despite myself I cannot help but smile a little bit, perhaps all of this will bring them closer together, I certainly hope so.

"He loves me and he's going to kill me, what do I do.. what am I supposed to do" I yell as I grab Draco by his shirt shaking him slightly.

Normally this would just serve the piss him off, but I know that he is feeling for me.

"Snap out of it" he says but I just begin to sob harder and faster, as I continue to shake him.

"She's hysterical" Draco says as he looks at Harry helplessly, but I really cannot bring myself to calm down.

Suddenly Harry appears in front of me, his hand raises and then I feel a sharp pain across my cheek, silencing me.

"Jesus potter I know we're mad at her, but honestly there was no need to hit her" Draco mutters as he looks at my cheek obviously trying to see if I was okay.

I pout as I bring my hand up to cup my cheek "it's a muggle thing" Harry mutters "and it worked."

"You're Hermione Granger, the know it all… you can deal with this" Harry says as he looks at me and I feel my tears beginning to dry up a little bit.

"Besides you like him back, this is a good thing" Draco butts in and I see Harry shiver.

"Honestly I don't know why you like the greasy bat, but if he makes you happy then me and Draco will do anything and everything to help you" Harry says making me smile as I throw my arms around both of the boys.. hugging them tightly.

My confidence returning "your right I'm Hermione Granger and now I know he returns my feelings I will seduce my man" I say as I think about all of the possible situations that we can get in together, most of them ending with our hot sticky bodies lying together.

"And in a way I'm glad he loves you.. means he doesn't want my mum anymore" Harry says, causing me and Draco to burst in to giggles and Harry to blush a dark shade of red.

"You mean you don't want to think about Severus sliding his cock into…"

"Hermione shut up" Harry snaps actually looking a little bit green, "it's bad enough thinking about him banging you without thinking about him doing it to my mum too" he adds as he glares at me and I secretly agree… I hope Severus never fucked her.

"I don't think that he did.." Draco comments.

"If you are all done discussing my sex life then I suggest you leave.. I have a class to teach" a cold voice drawls out, blushing a dark shade of red, I look at the ground hearing the boys mumbled apologises.

We all scramble towards the doorway and out of the room..

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><p><em><strong>Sorry it's so short<strong>_


	14. I'd rather you just spanked me

_**Facebook: Hannah Snuggleswithsnape**_

_**Or the link is on my profile**_

_**Thanks to everyone who reviewed and please do it again..**_

_**I do not own Harry Potter.. I wish that I did though.**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>HPOV<strong>_

It's been two day's since the potions incident as I have come to call it and I just know that he has been avoiding me, I tried to corner him after dinner yesterday.. but he excited through a different door. I tried to talk to him when I saw him in the corridor but he walked on.. straight past me.

But now I am going to give him no choice, I am going to make him speak to me and the only way that I can do this is during lunch… when he is sat at the staffroom.. in front of everybody. I don't want to embarrass him and myself in such a way but he really isn't giving me a choice.

"Hermione I don't think this is a good idea" Draco says as I begin to stand up.

"No I have to do this" I say quickly and firmly because I know that if he is against it then I will back out.

"'Mione" he calls after me as I walk down the centre of the aisle, feeling all eyes on me as I approach the staff table.

I feel all eyes on me as I stride confidently towards him, plastering a fake smile on my face as I do. Despite the fact that I have never been more scared or nervous in my entire life. All too soon I am at the staff table.. in front of professor Snape, he glances up and I swear I see a small flicker of fear in his eyes before they turn steely gaze on me, I gulp loudly but quickly brush it off. "We need to talk professor" I say biting down all of my nerves and common sense that was telling me to make a run for it.

"We do not need to do anything of the sort. I have no wishes to speak with you" he cuts in harshly and if I didn't know that it was a defence mechanism then I would be seriously hurt.

"Awww you wound me Severus" I say which causes him to growl out at me.

"Let the child speak" professor Dumbledore says from beside of us and as I glance up I notice the twinkle in his eye.

"Thank you head master, now Severus as I was…"

"It's professor Snape to you" he bites out once again cutting me harshly with mean words.

"As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted you cannot just confess your love to me and then return to being a snarky git just moments later." I hear gasps from around the hall, either that professor Snape had confessed his love to me or because I had actually dared to call him a snarky git to his face… I wasn't sure which reason, but I am guessing that it was the latter, because everyone knew about the 'classroom incident'

"Miss Granger I assure you that I have no idea what you are referring to you.. I am sure that you slipped me some kind of potion.."

I sigh how did I know this wouldn't be easy. Guess it's time to explain both sides of it to him. Standing behind Severus I pop my head over his shoulder "now Severus think about what you are doing she is your student and half your age" I say imitating 'good Snape' I then pop to the other side of his head.. "but I am sure that she would be a good shag.. imagine having" I hear loud laughter and applause from the students and even some of the teachers as I play the role of 'bad Snape.'

I watch as his jaw twitch.. but I cannot stop myself "sure she would be, but she's young do you really want to steel her innocence?" I ask as I lean in slowly "Well do you?" I whisper in his ear and I do not miss the way that he shivers slightly.

His arm reaches out grasping my wrist and pulling me around infront of him, I let out a loud squeal "That is enough of your attitude… I think detention would be an appropriate punishment for you" he scolds me as he rises up from the table fire in his eyes, I have obviously managed to really piss him off.

"I'd rather you just spanked me" I say with a wink turning and skipping from the hall, students cheering and applauding as I walk past.… well that didn't solve anything, but it sure was fun.


	15. You have a dungeon? kinky

_**Facebook: Hannah Snuggleswithsnape**_

_**Or the link is on my profile..**_

_**I'm sorry everyone.. updates are going to be even more irregular as I took a break for the simple reason that I wanted to focus on my own story and since taking that break I have only managed to get two pages written, but I am going to write fanfiction too.**_

_**So I hope you enjoy this chapter,.. and please review :D**_

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><p><em><strong>HPOV<strong>_

Great I have detention.. with Snape, although I suppose I could always just not go, I mean he didn't give me an exact time or date to be there… but would give me a chance to get to know him a little more, but if I didn't go then I will be able to annoy him and that will be even more fun.

Turning the corridor I begin to walk towards the stairs when I feel a hand on my shoulder, pulling me back and pushing me up against the wall.. hard. I yelp from the pain as I look up into the angry eyes of my favourite professor. Shit. "Oww you know if you wanted some attention, that is no way to get on my good side" I say with a small smirk on my face, but he remains impassive.

"What was that display in there you embarrassed me and yourself in front of the entire school" he says and I can already tell how pissed off he is at me… his hand moves from my shoulders and come to rest on the wall either side of my head.. my body is very much aware of how close he is to me and I know that if anyone walked in on this.. they would think that it is something that it isn't.. or is it?

He may be angry, but I am not going let that stop me, for he is being a dickhead and I am pissed at him too after all "well if you had just spoken to me when I approached you I wouldn't have had to take such drastic actions, would I?" I say though it comes out as more of a question than anything, for some reason the way he is staring at me makes my insides turn to jelly and all I want to do is love him.

"You know I am sorely tempted to take you up on that offer and spank your arse for what you did to me." And although I know that is supposed to scare me, it actually has the opposite effect on me and sends a sick thrill through me, especially as his hot breath is hitting my face making me imagine being bent over my professors desk in my school uniform him spanking my bare bum and telling me that I'm a bad girl.

"Anytime, anyplace professor" I say with a wink which he quickly ignores… looks like someone isn't in the mood for any fun today.

Severus just glares at me and shakes his head slightly "detention tonight down in the dungeon" he says sternly as he pulls back from me, immediately making me miss the warmth of his strong body as he turns his back on me.

"You have a dungeon?.. kinky" mind you I wouldn't be surprised if he really did have a dungeon, he seems like the kind of person who would be into the whole BDSM thing, not that I would know too much about that, I have only ever seen one dungeon and that was Charlie Weasley's.. and he called it a playroom.

He pauses briefly and for a moment I think that is going to turn around and say something but he doesn't he just continues to walk, striding away from me "Eight pm miss Granger do not be late" he without even turning around.

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><p>I smile a little bit because I know that he will crack soon and I will have him all to myself.<p>

Smoothing down my school skirt which Ginny had shortened a few inches I walk out into the common room seeing Draco and Harry cuddled up together on the couch "how do I look guys?" I ask raising one eyebrow at them.

Both guys snap there head up to look at me "you realise this is a detention and not a date right?" Harry asks.

"You realise I am not letting you out wearing that?" Draco says causing me to giggle slightly.

"So I look good then?" I ask "and Harry it is kind of a date.. he wants to see me" Harry rolls his eyes at that, while Draco tosses his robe towards me.

"At least put that on and cover yourself up" Draco commands, which again causes me to giggle.

"Fine if you want me to wear it" I wrap it around my body and tie it.. I will of course take it off when I get down there though.. but he doesn't need to know that. I walk through the doorways and down to the dungeons quickly, opening the door and striding inside as if I owned the place.

"Miss Granger.." he begins but I quickly cut him off.

"Please call me Hermione"

"Miss Granger I hardly think that would be appropriate and.. what the fuck are you wearing?" he demands out harshly, momentarily taking me back because since when did professor Snape wear? I raise one eyebrow opening my mouth to ask him just what the hell he's on about before I remember that I have Draco's robe on.

"Sir, I would though you would approve I was simply showing my love towards the Slytherin house" I say as I smirk over at him.

"Do you mistake me for one of your Dunderhead friends.. who is he? Who's robe are you wearing?"

"I erm I…" for once I am at a loss for words, his arms wrap around my waist as he pulls me closer towards him and then roughly begins to undo the ties of the robe.

"You do not wear another mans clothes" he says as he tosses the robe to the side, leaning in his face just inches away from mine "You are mine.." he leans in ever so slowly until his lips are just hovering over mine, my eyes flickering closed as my heart races. He's going to kiss me.

"Merlin's beard" a voice exclaims.

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><p><em><strong>So what did you all think and who do you think should be the one interrupting Hermione and Snape's almost kiss.<strong>_


	16. No wonder Lily chose James over you

_**Facebook: Hannah SnuggleswithSnape**_

_**Or the link is in my profile.**_

_**Okay so I am supposed to be working on my own writing, but I honestly love to write this story.. now I think you all know who was interrupting Severus and Hermione.**_

_**Anyway thank you to everyone who reviewed and please do it again :D **_

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><p><em><strong>HPOV<strong>_

"Merlin's beard" a voice exclaims and just like that the magical spell that we were both under is broken, my eyes snap open at the sound of the familiar voice.. damn it why does he always have to ruin everything.

I look into Severus' eyes and see that they have darkened and he is now glaring at me.. wait what in merlin's name did I do?

I cannot bare to look at them anymore, so I spin around to face him.. to face Ron. "Just what an earth are you doing down here?" I demand to know.. and why the hell did you interrupt us?

"I erm.. I came to get my quill I left it here this morning" he says in a rather weak tone and then I notice his cheeks getting redder and redder "never mind me what were you doing Mione?" he asks, his voice rising slowly a clear sign that he was getting angry, not that I care.

"What's that got to do with you? Why do you always do this Ronald? everytime that I even get close to kissing a boy.."

"Miss Granger we were not about to kiss, I do not know where you got that ridiculous notion.. nor do I care" Severus says from behind me, his voice cold. "But you must get that idea out of your head this instant." My mouth drops open in shock and all I want to do is curl up and cry, but I can't and won't do that again..

My anger for Ron quickly disappears as I spin around to face professor Snape and all of the hurt and fury explodes "you were going to kiss me.. you would have if he hadn't walked in.. I don't know why I was even attracted to you, you're a loser" I hiss out "no wonder Lily chose James over you" I say before I can even think about it. I see the hurt briefly pass over his face and immediately guilt hits me.. how could I ever say such a thing to him.

I hear Ron's laugh "and you can shut it you ginger haired git" I Snap, because for some reason his laugh just irked me… usually I am not one to swear, but he brings out the worst in me.

"Whoa" is his only response the laughter quickly dying. I can tell that he wants to yell at me and call me out for what I have just said, but with Severus in the room I doubt that he would dare.

Severus however is still glaring at me "Get out now" he says furiously, I begin to turn away from him but an arm grabs a hold of my elbow and pulls me back, making me spin around to face him. "Not you.. I was talking to Weasley" he states, leaving no room for argument, so I don't even try to. I just stand there looking anywhere but at the two other people in the room.

"Bloody hell I was only trying to help" I hear him mutter.

"Now Mr Weasley" Severus says and then all I can hear is the shuffling of feet and the slamming of the door.. there is no doubt that the entire school will hear about this.. or at least Harry and then Draco.

As soon as Ronald is out of the room, he lets go of my arm and in an odd sort of way I miss the feel of his hand on my skin.. even if it was in anger.

Then his footsteps as he walks away from me gathering up my courage, I glance up "Severus…" I pause for a minute yet he does not correct me so I take that as a good sign.

"Just don't Hermione.." he says as he stands facing away from me his hand resting against the desk.

"But I.."

"No you will forget that this ever happened.. you will come to my classes.. you will sit in the back and be quite.. and then maybe, just maybe you won't fail potions" I feel the tears prickle in my eyes as I turn and flee from the room, running through the halls and up to the common room, thankfully there was not anybody around with it being so late.

I say the password and enter the room only to be greeted with two faces. "You kissed him Hermione what an earth were you thinking?" Harry asks raising one eyebrow and that is all that it takes, I burst into tears, throwing myself into Draco's arms. He quickly wraps them around me, pulling me tightly up against him.

"Want to tell us what happened darling?" he asks, his hand coming up to my hair as he runs his fingers through the messy curls. It always surprises me how different Harry and Draco are and yet they blend so well.

I just shake my head. "Mione.. did he do something to you? because if he did I will rip his balls off and stuff them down his throat" Harry says and that causes me to let out a small giggle as I cry into Draco's shoulder.

"No.. " I sniffle softly "he doesn't want me."

I hear Draco's heavy sigh "Come sit with us.." Draco says as he leads me over to the couch, sitting down as he pulls me onto his lap, Harry sitting beside of us and rubbing my back gently.

"Don't worry we'll get him back…" Harry says… and I have every intention of doing so..

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><p><em><strong>What did you all think..<strong>_

_**Do we want Ron bashing or not?**_


	17. I'd still tap that

_**Facebook: Hannah Snuggleswithsnape**_

_**Or the link is on my profile..**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>HPOV<strong>_

It had been over a week since that night with Severus and while my initial anger has faded Harry and Draco's have not.. luckily they were able to keep Ron from running his mouth to the entire school, so unfortunately he have to let him in on our plan.

I sit in the back of the potions class, right next to Draco as Severus lectures at the front of the class… "we need something really good.. this is just a taste of what he will have to endure" Draco whispers in my ear evilly. "He's had this coming for a long time." And while I do believe that is true, I cannot help feel a little guilty, I really like Severus and I don't want to hurt him too much, no matter what he did to me.

"Now you have half an hour to properly brew the invisibility potion. Off you go" he says and this is where our plan is put into action. I wink at Harry and Ron and nod.. it would be more believable if they were the ones who screwed up there potion considering me and Draco are top of the class.

"This is going to be good" Draco whispers quietly as he finely chops the ingredients2.

I roll my eyes at him "It's a little childish" I say simply "but then again so have all of the pranks we have pulled so far" I admit to him.

He bumps his shoulder against my own as I throw the freshly chopped ingredients in, we work in silence as we brew the potion.

"Professor, professor will you come look at this" Harry yells from the front of the room, I smirk as I lift my head up ready to watch the events to unfold.

I do not hear his muttered reply as he walks towards the table and just as planned Ron 'accidently' knocks the contents of the potion over professor snape. "What on earth.." Severus says his pale skin slowly turning red violently.

"You blasted dunderhead, merlin knows what potion you two have concocted" and as the potion begins to take effect, Severus begins his transformation, his features changing slowly becoming more and more feminine, his nose shrinking, his skin smoothing, his hair shiny and growing longer. His black robes changing into a short pink skirt, showing of his hairless legs and a pink suit jacket.

Everyone stares wide eyed, before I let out a little giggle and soon the entire class is howling in laughter at the ridiculous imagine in front of us.

"Why professor what an attractive woman you make" I say with a wink as Draco wolf whistles beside me sending us into a new fit of giggles.

"GET OUT NOW!" professor snape yells and we are all wise enough to run out of the classroom, I run into the hall laughing loudly… but my early comment still stood.. he made quite an attractive woman.

"Merlin he looked ridiculous" Ron says as we walk towards the great hall.

I shrug "I don't know.. I'd still tap that" I say with a wink as I skip ahead leaving three open mouthed boys.

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><p><em><strong>Short I know.. but I wanted something to post, next chapter will be up soon..<strong>_

_**Any ideas will be appreciated.**_


	18. But I'm not crazy

_**Facebook: Hannah Snuggleswithsnape**_

_**Or the link is in my profile. **_

_**Thank you to everyone who reviewed. **_

_**Just want to say a thank you to 'KAWAII' for giving me the idea to do this story**_

_**I have a poll on my profile for the next Harry potter story I'm going to write, feel free to vote =)**_

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><p><em><strong>SSPOV<strong>_

I am going to kill that dunderhead weasel, more importantly though I am going to kill Hermione, I am not stupid enough to think that it is not her behind this plan, unfortunately there is nothing I can do but wait for this potion to wear off, a day or two at the most, it would take longer to brew a reversal.

However I cannot find it within myself to be too mad at her.. I know why she has done it, because of what I did to her. However no one and I mean no one makes a fool of me and gets away with it.. there will be payback.

"Did you see snape at lunchtime?" that immediately catches my attention as I did not go to lunch, I decide to delve into their minds and see what the devil is going on.

_As I walk into the great hall, I see professor Snape sat at the table.. which is strange, I heard that he had been turned into a woman, guess that was a false rumour.. shame I was looking forward to seeing that! It would have been hilarious._

_I quickly shrug it off and take my seat at the hufflepuff table next to my fellow friends. We eat in silence when I suddenly hear a loud girlish scream, I snap my head up towards the sound and see that it has come from professor Snape. What is more surprising is the fact that he actually has tears in his eyes.. if a man like him is crying then something must be really wrong._

_By now most of the attention is on him. "Severus what is wrong?" Hagrid asks as he awkwardly pats his back._

"_I forgot to grease my hair this morning" the upset professor wails pathetically as he slams his head on the table, my eyes widen and I can't help it, I snort letting out a loud laugh.. is he serious? Soon the entire hall is laughing, so I cannot hear Hagrid's reply, but I defiantly see it when he grabs the butter and begins to run it through his lanky locks. Merlin what is going on._

With that I pull out from the young man's mind, not needing to see anymore, that scheming.. wench, just who does she think she is, I am sure that it is her.

Well It is about time that I confronted the witch and just in time for dinner as well, I strut towards the great hall… something that I cannot help, it seems to be the way that all women walk.

As I enter the hall, I hear whispers "whos that?" "omg..thats snape" "Bloody hell" and right there and then I want to Avada every single one of them.. My eyes scan the room and just as I expected Hermione is not there, as I look up at the top table, I see myself sat there.

I expect her to look scared or at least concerned, but nothing. In fact I.. I mean Hermione smiles, there is something strange about seeing yourself, I feel like this is all but a dream.. unfortunately that is not the case.

Marching up to the front table, I stand in front of her.. "What on earth do you think you're playing at?" I demand.

She scowls and I cannot help but notice that my scowl is actually quite terrifying.. looks as though I am doing something right! "Who are you?"

I blink for a second. "I must Second Severus' question who are you? I was not informed of any visits" Dumbledore says with a twinkle in his eye and I have a feeling that the old codger knows.

"I'm Severus Snape" I say confidently.. though it comes out as a more feminine squeak.

"Imposter" She screams.. Hermione stands up pointing one manly finger at me.

By now I am sure we have everyones attention. "No Hermione it is you who is an imposter." I state calmly.. much calmer than I am feeling.

"Coming from the women claiming that she is me?"

"No.. but.. I… " I suddenly become very flustered. "Do not worry my dear.. a man is here and he will take you to a special place." Suddenly two healers appear behind me.

Oh no.. she wouldn't "but I'm not crazy.. it's a potion" I say as both of them grab my arm forcing me to struggle..

"They will help you" Is all Hermione says as she grins evily.

"You will pay for this" I scream as they drag me from the hall.

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><p><em><strong>I'm sorry for the rubbishness of the ending.. I have no idea what to do or where to go.. Idea's please?<strong>_


	19. chocolate abs

_**Facebook: Hannah Snuggleswithsnape**_

_**Or the link is in my profile. **_

_**Thank you to everyone who reviewed.**_

_**So I almost scrapped the last chapter because I have got so far off track.. I liked how it was at the beginning and I think the romance has almost ruined it.. so I'm trying to get it back to where I want it so be patient with me please..**_

_**I do not own Harry potter.**_

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><p><em><strong>HPOV<strong>_

"What do you mean those men were from st mungo's?" I ask Ronald feeling the anger beginning to bubble up inside of me.

"You said.."

"I gave you one job to do.. to hire ACTORS to take professor Snape away and you screw it up, can you not do anything right?" I rant, as much as I hate to admit it, I am actually concerned for Severus… to be locked up in a place like that.

"Yes and I was going too but then I thought that…"

"Don't think then, honestly Ronald whenever you get an idea DO NOT act on it" I scream at him "now you will apparate to st mungo's and get him released before I hex you into oblivion."

"But Hermione…." he whines out at me

I don't give him a chance to speak as I whip my wand out pointing it at him, watching as what little colour he has drains from his body. "I'm going" he murmurs as he turns and scrambles from the room, almost tripping over his haste to get out of the portrait hole.

Now that I have sorted that out, I can only worry about the retaliation that is sure to be coming my way.. or worse if Severus decides to get me expelled I am sure that impersonating a teacher and getting the real one dragged off to st mungo's is against the rules… somehow though I do not think he will… I will make a point of speaking to him tomorrow, to try and sort this out.

But right now I must go to bed, dealing with Ronald always gives me a headache.

The next morning, I walk straight to the dungeons.. well I say morning it is more like 4 am.. I know that Severus will not talk to me willingly so I will give him no choice. Muttering the password to the portrait I step inside my professors chambers, quietly creeping towards his bedroom.. I swing the door open, my eyes widening as I see his naked body covered by only the sheet.

His bare chest on display, he is surprisingly muscly, I long to run my fingers over that chiselled chest.. but now is not the time for that.

Whipping out my wand, I silently whisper the spell, watching as binds wrap around Severus' arms and connect them to the bed… I cannot help but realise that he is completely at my mercy.

"Severus… wake up" I hiss, I watch as he stirs but he does not open his eyes "Severus" I hiss loudly as I poke his stomach.

I watch as his eyes flicker open, then zone in on me.. his sleepy expression quickly turns from surprise to fear to anger. "Miss granger what on earth are you doing here?" he demands and I quickly snap my hand back

"I came to apologize and to.."

"Apologize and you thought sneaking in to my bedroom and molesting me was a good way to go about it?" with that I feel my temper beginning to rise

"Oh please just because you have abs that I want to lick chocolate off doesn't mean that I would actually try to molest you" as soon as he raises that smug eyebrow I know I have said something stupid.

"interesting.."

"I mean I erm.. I" okay this is so not the way I planned this going "I came to apologize.. I told Ronald to hire actors at the nimrod took it upon his self to go to st mungo's, it was never my intention to actually send you there."

He sighs softly as he looks at me "and you had to tie me to the bed to tell me this" he states, giving nothing away by his expression.

"would you have listened to me otherwise."

He glares, leaving no doubt that he wouldn't have. I smirk and undo his bindings allowing him to sit up.

I boldly move forwards and perch myself on the edge of the bed half expecting him to shove me off of it but he says nothing. So I relax a little. "I propose that we team up together to get him back.. you have to admit we would make a good match." In more ways than one.

"You mean you're afraid of retaliation?" he asks almost teasingly as he grabs my wrists and pulls me backwards to lay on the bed next to him, surprised but not wanting to make an issue.

"That too.." I say with a giggle as I turn on my side and snuggle up against him, hoping that he doesn't push me away, I feel him stiffen but thankfully he doesn't.

"Fine I will team up with you Hermione, but for now shut up and sleep." He commands as he pulls the sheets over me and hugs me tightly to his body. "Tomorrow we will discuss ideas."

Life couldn't get more perfect.

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><p><em><strong>What do you guys think… I actually find this chapter strangely sweet.<strong>_


	20. Argh Ron

_**I think I'm almost at the end of this story… still got a few more chapters left I think =) **_

_**Hope you enjoy it.. any comments or suggestions let me know.**_

_**I don't own harry potter but review anyway.**_

_**HPOV**_

"_**Severus do you not think this is a little bit cruel?" I ask nervously as I nibble on my lower lip, feeling a little hesitant about this, its mean and childish.. even if Ron deserves it.**_

"_**I do Hermione, that's what makes it so pleasurable" Severus says with a sly smirk on his handsome face.**_

_**I just roll my eyes and smile fondly "whatever you say sir" I say giving him a wink before turning and skipping from the room, making sure to sway my hips in hopes to tempt him, although we have been getting closer and I've been sleeping in Severus' room, he hasn't tried to kiss me and we have not labelled our relationship yet. Maybe it is for the best.. for the next couple of months at least to keep it platonic before I graduate, However if he offers I certainly will not turn it down.**_

"_**Cheeky little minx" I hear him mutter under his breath I am sure that I am not supposed to hear but I do and it sends a jolt of excitement throughout my entire body as I close the door behind me.**_

_**He so wants me.**_

"_**Who wants you?" I frown, did I say that out loud?**_

_**I turn to see Ron, Harry and Draco stood staring at me, Draco and Harry with matching smirks on their faces and Ronald looking as clueless as ever "who doesn't want me?" I ask with a giggle, feeling the blush light up on my cheeks.**_

"_**That's true you are one fine piece of arse" Draco says as he slings his arm around my shoulder while I glow under his praise. "For a girl" he adds causing me to pout as I slap his chest hard.**_

"_**Damn it woman" he growls "I love you but I love Harry more" he says as he strides over to Harry and wraps his arms around his waist, pulling him tight against his body and I swear he is unbelievably sweet, they just look so right with each other. Harry blushes and smiles up at his boyfriend.**_

"_**I love you too" he says sweetly.**_

"_**Enter" a voice demands as the doors swing open, I smile loving the sound of my surly potions master.. yes I said it.. mine, he is mine, Severus Snape belongs to me body, heart, mind and soul and I belong to him just as equally even if he doesn't know it yet.**_

_**I smile and shake my head, glancing over at Ron as he sits down next to Lavender.. oh this should be good, I take my seat next to Harry and Draco but my eyes remain on Ron completely ignoring Severus' lesson and whatever he's saying.**_

"_**Now everyone reach into your cauldron's I have placed all of your ingredients inside, considering the mishap we had last week" he says while glaring at Neville, I chuckle recalling the way he mixed up mermaids slime and dragons slime causing an explosion.**_

_**Neville's face is suddenly a violent shade of red and I pity the poor boy. "ahhhhhhhhhh" I hear a loud scream and smirk in satisfaction as I glance over at the red head, watching his lower lip tremble in pure fight. **_

"_**Won won what is it?"**_

_**I watch as the eight legged beast pops a long leg over the side of the cauldron and appears for everyone to see, Lavender squeals and backs away, but Ron remains frozen in place.**_

"_**Argh spider" Ron screams. There are a few squeals and a few bouts of laughter from around the room.**_

"_**Argh Ron" the spider replies, Ron blinks in surprise causing me to giggle and share a secret look with professor snape.**_

_**There is suddenly complete and utter silence from around the room. **_

"_**You j..just spoke" Ron whimpers as he looks at the hairy beast.**_

"_**I did. Now stop your whining I won't hurt you.. much" the spider says as he speeds off of the cauldron, scurrying over the desk and jumping up onto Ron.**_

"_**Help someone, anyone help" Ron yells as he leaps up off of the chair, trying to get the spider of off him, his legs and arms flailing around. Now everyone is laughing, he is a funny sight to see.**_

_**He doesn't, the spider won't move off of him. "S..sspider" Ron murmurs before falling to the ground with a loud thud. **_

"_**Someone take him out, class dismissed" Severus says as Harry picks Ron up, carefully scooping up the spider.**_

"_**They don't bother me, saw them all the time under the stairs" he says with a shrug as he places it gently on the table.**_

_**I linger behind "you are an evil genius" I say with a smirk. **_

_**Severus smiles as he waves the wand and banishes the spider. "So are you, we make a good team."**_

"_**Mmm that we do" he says as he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me close "we should do it more often."**_

_**I gaze up into his beautiful coal eyes as I smile, he is breath taking. I lean up and press a soft kiss to his lips, pulling back and biting down on my lower lip gently.**_

_**He smile wolfishly as he leans down and claims my lips again.**_


	21. Epilogue

_**Just want to say I will be starting a story like this again in the future.. **_

_**But for now the Epilogue**_

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><p>HPOV<p>

"For merlin's sake, she's done it again" my husband of twenty years says as he glances down at the parchment in his hands.

"Who has?"

"Gemma"

"oh"

Walking behind Severus I reach out taking the letter from his hands.

_Dear Mr and Mrs Snape_

_It is with great regret to inform you that your daughter Gemma Louisa Snape is on her final warning before we will have no choice but to suspend her. _

_Miss Snape was caught red handed swapping harmless dragon snaps for baby mandrakes, it is lucky we intercepted before the second years got their hands on them. I trust you will deal with this._

_Sincerely _

_Albus Dumbledore_

_Headmaster of Hogwarts school of witch craft and wizardry. _

I giggle softly "come on Severus, it was just a harmless prank" I say with a shrug remembering my last year.

"It says she could get suspended that's not a harmless prank."

"She's a smart girl" I say with a roll of my eyes. "She won't get suspended."

I hear Severus' loud sigh and know that he isn't too convinced, "she's too much like her mother" he mutters under his breath, causing me to crack a small smile.

"I seem to recall you having a knack for pranks too my dear husband" I say with a roll of my eyes.

"Yes well I did it for educational purposes, you did it for… well entertainment." I giggle softly as Severus looks at me sternly, he can be so funny without even realising it.

I smile and shake my head at him, leaning up and pressing a soft kiss to his lips. "Get over it Severus, I won the prank war and you lost" I say as I turn around and skip from the room.

"Little Minx" I hear him muttering under his breath, causing me to grin fondly.

I head into the living room, glancing over at the photos on the mantle place, a picture of me and Severus at the alter saying our vows, my bump showing, I was five months pregnant with Aiden when we tied the knot.

_The tears are shining in my eyes already as I stand behind the closed entrance at the door of the church. "Are you sure you want to do this?" my father asks obviously feeling my body trembling, I am nervous but not because I do not wish to marry him, I'm scared of the audience and that everyone will be looking at me and possibly even judging me and my bump, I already got an earful from Mrs Weasley about giving myself away before I was married._

"_No daddy, I want to do this, I love Severus and I want to spend the rest of my life with him" I say softly. _

_A proud smile overtakes his face "you will do just fine Hermione" he whispers as he leans in and presses a soft kiss to the side of my head, sending a whoosh of love through my body, the doors open and I look straight ahead towards the alter and at the back of my future husband._

_The wedding march song begins and all eyes turn to me as my father escorts me down the isle and all I can think off is how perfect this is and how it has been such a long time coming. _

_As I near the end of the aisle, only a couple of feet from Severus, he turns to face me his coal black eyes locking on mine and making me melt, I know now that he is the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with, forever and always._

_The ceremony passes in a blur, and finally it is the time. A rope is wrapped around our entwined hands as we begin to exchange vows. "Severus Snape I have loved you since I laid eyes on you, when this all started out I never expected for us to become more than friends, but I am grateful to have you in my life, as a shoulder to cry on, to lean on for support and as someone to keep me safe and love me unconditionally, I am proud to become your wife today" I say, my voice shaking towards the end as tears slowly drip down my face._

_As I look up into his eyes I see they are wet too, he wants to cry, I squeeze his hand gently. "Hermione Granger you are the most infuriating, frustrating little minx I have ever met" he says causing me to chuckle softly "but I have loved you since the moment you dared to prank me" he adds getting a few laughs from our guests "I never thought that I would find love, but you proved me wrong, you make me want to be a better man for you and our child. " his eyes drop from mine and towards my belly. "I am honoured to become your husband."_

"_And with that I pronounce you husband and wife" the minister taps his wand on top of our hands and the rope disappears "you are bound to each other for the rest of your life, you may kiss the bride." With that Severus pulls me up flush against my body, and presses a soft kiss to my lips, keeping it brief, before pulling back and resting his forhead against mine, gazing adoringly into my eyes. "Forever and always Hermione" he whispers, causing me to smile, that is our saying and always has been._

"_Until the end of time" I finish._

I smile as I remember that day, it was one of the happiest days of my life. My eyes flip over to the next picture of me and Severus holding baby Aiden, then holding Charlotte and finally Gemma.

The next picture is of Aiden and his girlfriend taken at the graduation party_**. **_

"_Thank you everyone for coming today, my years at Hogwarts have been challenging to say the very least and even more challenging once I met Allysa Weasley" he says causing me to giggle as I lean back in to Severus arms, she was definitely George's daughter that one, Aiden hadn't inherited the gene for pranking, in fact he seemed to despise them, which is why it was such a big shock when he got with Allysa four years ago._

"_But It taught me a lot, so I'm ready to start my job at the ministry and to marry my beautiful fiancée'" I gasp at that._

"_Severus" I whisper and he just squeezes my waist tighter. _

"_Thank you and congratulations everyone" he says as he raises his glass of champagne. _

_There are claps all around as Aiden and Allysa walk towards us together, I see him eyeing me cautiously, obviously unsure about the reaction._

_My eyes are watery as I leap forwards and throw my arms around my son, hugging him tightly. "Congratulations son" I say in his ear as I lean up and press a kiss to his cheek, before moving on to Allysa and hugging my soon to be daughter in law._

"_Welcome to the family."_

I glance at the final picture, looking at my first grandchild, Melissa Weasley as she giggles, her head thrown back and her eyes sparkling, her red hair falling in curls around her shoulders. She's only eighteen months and already so pretty.

Pulling myself out of my reminiscing just in time as an owl flies through the window, no doubt from Gemma, I quickly undo the parchment from the leg and read.

_Mum._

_I'm sure you and dad have got the letter from old dumbly by now, just want you to know that its okay, tell dad I'm not suspended before he has an aneurysm, I just have months of detentions…_

_Tell daddy that it won't happen again and I love him.. well I just won't get caught again._

_Oh and by the way Scorpius Malfoy asked me on a date! Don't tell daddy that._

_Love you both _

_Gemma._

Oh I definitely won't be telling Severus that, he's having enough trouble with accepting charlotte's boyfriend never mind his baby's.

"Severus she's not suspended."

Yes our family is mental but it works and I wouldn't change my life for the world.


End file.
